This is one of those shit days. I don't know how I'm going to be as they put it 'inspiring', but lets face it, every diabetic has one of these days. As for the people who manage this site, if they're diabetic they'll be able to sympathise, but if it's not than i understand.
I not exactly very high in spirits right now, so i would have to say this response is more sentimental than anything else.
I also don't have very high hopes that anyone is going to read this, each person that comes on this site has their own agenda and story to tell, yet somehow everyone's story seems to have the same motto; you'll be fine, you'll get along with your diabetes, Life is hard, but get over it you'll be fine.. get my jist?
So i've been living with type 1 diabetes for most of my life, im 17 now, and i was diagnosed when i was 3, so thats accumulates to 14 years of this god foresaken disease. Syringes and the double duo of actrapid and protophane.. the perfect couple if i may say so myself. These three things were my bff's for 9 years, but more recently its the couple made in heavan.. diabetes pump and novorapid.. thats keeping me going.
14 years. woah long time now that i actually count it all. I'm on the threshold of starting a new life, half way through my HSC, and let me tell you HSC and diabetes don't mix, much like oil and water.
I guess my cycnical attitude and sarcastic tone probably gave the big secret away. I AM NOT OK WITH MY DIABETES. I havn't been for a while, and yeh call me in a state of depression but no. Once you've lived with a disease for 14 years i think i am entitled to say I HATE IT!
I know I know, i get it, diabetes isn't the worst disease there are so many others who have it worse look at cancer, parkinsons, down syndrome .. the list is endless. but it sucks, it sucks seeing the people you love being diagnosed with the disease, it sucks having the disease for yourself but mostly its knowing that your uncontrolled diabetes, Your inability to test, to inject, to bolus, to press a button is going to kill you.
Don't get me wrong, i know the initative is on me to control this disease, there are soo many role models and idols out there, that have the perfect life with diabetes, but we all aren't like that?
I guess i'm trying to say, is its ok to hate your diabetes, its ok to be annoied at yourself, to blame yourself because i do it too.
the bit that buggers me the most though is the fact we are more susceptible to other disease due to our inital autoimmune one.
sometimes its not always going to be ok